I've decided that I'm not done with Nausea after all. I want to keep going on it and fill the center white space up a bit more. Can't live with it as is. Also realized that I need to work fewer hours, as I've got some kind of repetitive motion thing going on. I'm not sure if it's carpal tunnel or what, but I simply can't work for long stretches the way I have been, as the gripping of the x-acto is wreaking havoc on my right hand, and for some reason my left hand gets in on the tension as well. I rub tiger balm into my hands and wear cotton gloves when I go to bed, but they still throb during the night. I've tried ignoring the pain, but that isn't working so well.
So now what. I'm surprised at how calmly I'm handling this. It's not like me to pass up a chance at a minor meltdown. But I seem to be taking it in stride, and figuring out my next course of action. When/if I start selling the work, then I'll hire someone to cut up holy books for me and have them anally arrange the letters, right side up, in 26 little piles. I figure I'll go through one person a week, as that's about how long it'll take for the carpal tunnel and mind-numbing monotony to take its toll. But until I can afford this, I'm afraid I'm going to have to back off on the texts. Which raises the question, what shall I do with myself? Because if I'm not texting, I'm going to have a LOT of time on my aching hands.
So it's with some surprise that I've decided to start painting again. Not what I really want to do right now, but I'll go with the flow, and see what happens. Maybe the texting will somehow merge with painting. I've missed painting, and in particular I miss the use of color, so I'll make the best of this while my wrists recover. It may be that I just need to cut back to texting a few days a week, rather than what I've been doing.
In the meantime, if any of you have the burning desire to cut up holy books letter by letter and make anthills out of vowels, you know who to call. I can't afford to pay you, but you can come eat with us at the monastery, and I'll be sure that they don't put any salt peter in your food.

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